101 Single Amenities Revisited

So I don't think I spend much time feeling sorry for myself because I'm single, but occasionally it does have the power to incite the blues. That being said, today as I was dipping celery stalks into almond butter (straight out of the jar), my thoughts ventured to what I enjoy most about being single.

Here's a few that I relish:

• No one wakes me up between the hours of 5-7 on weekend mornings (Actually, I haven't been able to sleep much past 8:00, even on the weekends, for a while.)
  

• I can watch as much PBS or BBC as I want without having to fight with anyone about the perceived ‘chic-like’ or ‘boring’ nature of the program. (But on second thought, I'm not sure the whining is that much of an impediment, seeing as most of my nieces and nephews end up getting sucked in and watch what they've complained about anyway.)


• I can take off anywhere, by myself, at the drop of a hat, without worrying about the legal/moral obligations of keeping minors safe. (Except anyone who knows me knows I'm the biggest homebody on the planet).

• Can plan trips without consulting spouses (of course you do need money to go on trips).


• I can double-dip—anything—peanut butter, almond butter, sour cream, cream cheese, leftovers—I don’t even have to take meals out of the pot if I don’t choose—they can go straight into the fridge (and they do) and no one complains. (Although, most kids probably do this when mothers aren't looking anyway—hmmm...what does that say about me?)


• I can drink straight from the milk carton (and I do). (Actually, if I'm honest, I don't really do this one very often—there's the nasty dried milk bit around the rim of the opening and I'm not very fond of that, but theoretically I could drink from the carton).


• Can sleep in the middle of the bed (and I do). (But, again, if I want to stick to a policy of honesty, I usually end up on the right side of the bed anyway, but again, theoretically, I could sleep in the middle).


• I can hog the covers; actually, everyone who knows me knows I would do this with others in the bed too, and enjoy it. :)


• Can listen to my TV as loud as I like (and do). (However, my parents have been married almost 49 years and Dad listens to the TV as loud as he likes.)


• I can eat just popcorn for dinner and not feel guilty about feeding smaller beings a meal nutritionally poor in content. (Actually, I wouldn't even do this probably more than twice a year for myself—who can subsist for more than 45 minutes on popcorn? But it's great to give oneself the option, right?)

• Any mess in my apartment is my fault—no one to blame but me (consequently it should probably be a lot cleaner).

• No one whines about what we’re having for dinner—repast in the form of spinach salad or falafels are equally accepted and appreciated—by me, of course (this one might be the genuine article).

Okay, so I didn’t really make it to 101, and a lot of my perks are theoretical and/or not even very appealing, and every married person reading this can probably double my list with their own list of ‘family amenities,’ but I gotta make it sound as good as I can, right? ;)