I apologize in advance if this post runs on the cheesy side, but I was just contemplating how one's place in a family, in terms of sibling order, can extensively shape who they are. I can remember recently admitting to a colleague that I am the youngest of five and her reaction took me back a little--she smiled and laughed saying, "I knew you were the youngest." Am I really that transparent? I read a book once that claimed the youngest in a family does well in a marriage relationship with a spouse who is the oldest of their family because the one is used to being authoritative and/or practical and responsible while the other is used to complying and/or having things done for them. I have to say, if I was to marry tomorrow and he was to be the youngest of his family, I think it might not work out. I admit: I’m used to “being taken care of.” Maybe because the rest of my siblings are so much older than me and I’m so used to being “watched out for,” guided and helped by those who are several years older. Not to say that I was perfectly compliant and 100% tractable growing up, but I am definitely used to learning by example, listening to others’ opinions: weighing and considering them within a collection and then asking for more guidance. And, while I don’t pretend to know or understand how my siblings feel about their place in our family, I’m pretty darned content with mine. I think in the back of everyone’s mind I am still somehow connected with the memory of my juvenile, cute self—the version of me that inspired protecting instincts in them. Even my oldest brother, who is probably the least fond of me, told me (when looking at old family photos) that he still sees me at about two years old. Nice—right? Well, that might be problematic as well, but at least somewhere in his mind he might have a softer spot for me than my adult self produces. Guess my point to all this rambling is that I feel pretty lucky for the family I have and the place I inhabit in it. It’s nice to be loved and considered by those who once had a vested interest in my day-to-day younger self welfare. You always love those you serve, right? I might disappoint them now, but by gosh, they’ll still love me for the past and act with anxiety over my welfare because of it. Everyone should be the youngest.
3 comments:
I am absolutely convinced that youngest child is the prime spot in the family! I used to get frustrated by it when I was younger, but now I see all of the wonderful advantages. I am married to an oldest child and now I think that oldest children totally get the shaft in some things. I think it's true that it would be difficult to be married to another youngest child as well. I do think oldest kids do get most of the benefits of their place in the family when they're young. Ella had a wealth of attention for her 1st 2 years that her siblings simply won't get. I love Ezra and spend as much time with him as I can, but my time is always split between two now.
I agree with everything you said, however, I wouldn't want to be the oldest because they are always expected to be the good example and I think parents are harder on them. By the time they get to us they are too tired or brain dead to care as much what the youngest does or doesnt' do. :)
I remember one time when my family was eating dinner at your house your mom said to you, "You better eat you dinner little lady!"
To which you replied, "Ok big mama!" That story still makes me smile. You were kind of sassy sometimes.
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